sometimes

Sometimes no matter what I do, it seems like there's another mess around the corner waiting to be cleaned up. Sometimes the kids are ravenously hungry all evening long and nothing I feed them seems to be enough. Sometimes I get so tired and frustrated with dragging the kids around on the bus and it seems like my drivers licence is more and more out of reach. Sometimes I look at the piles of toys that no one plays with and the piles of clothes that no one wears and I think about the holidays coming up and all the new things that are coming and I want to scream, or go live in a hut in the mountains somewhere. ( I am very aware that this is such a First World problem and that the people struggling to survive in the Horn of Africa can't even imagine this problem of clutter.) Sometimes I sit down to write at the end of the day and there's just nothing left. Sometimes I think about what my life was like before I had kids and it seems like a foreign country.

But you know, I am so thankful. For my beautiful amazing kids that crack me up every day. For my partner who's with me every step of the way. For coffee and words and friends. For Meeting for Worship and the silence and rest and insight that I gain. For my parent friends who have walked next to me on this long and winding road. For my family, who made me. This is good.