Monday, October 16, 2006

Unit - Frequently Asked Questions

I just thought I would write some answers to several of the frequently asked questions about Unit.

Q: When is Unit due?
A: We are told that Unit will be due on March 19th, 2007.

Q: How far along is Unit?
A: About 18 weeks.

Q: Are you going to find out Unit's sex?
A: Nope. We want it to be a surprise.

Q: Why aren't you going to find out Unit's sex?
A: Because we're not too big on gender roles, but we do like surprises.

Q: Are you really going to name the kid Unit?
A: Ummmm... Maybe? Calling each other 'Unit' comes from a young adult book called Feed by M.T. Anderson. As in: 'Hey unit, I'm totally null today.' Also, one name we really like is Unity, after the Operation Ivy song.

Q: Aren't you aware that there was this horrible crazy Nazi woman named Unity Mitford who shot herself in the head?
A: Yes, we are. However her middle name was also Valkyrie and she was conceived in Swastika, Ontario, so we tend to think that she might have been a horrible crazy Nazi for some other reasons. Plus, I'm no Baron Redesdale.

Q: You should just name the kid Chris or Kristine like your parents did.
A: Ha, ha. You're very funny. That's not a question.

Q: Ok, so what are you really going to name the kid?
A: We're not sure yet. We've got some contenders but we haven't decided on one yet. We might just get a monkey to pick a name out of the baby name book, but first we need to find a monkey. We'll let you know by April 2007.

Q: When will Unit be coming to [insert my town here]?
A: Unit has a very busy schedule for the rest of 2006 and early 2007, but be assured that we will announce tour dates sometime in the future.

Q: Will Chris subject Unit to that stuff he likes to call music but the rest of the world thinks is horrible, horrible noise?
A: But of course! Both Chris and his sister were subjected to repeated sessions of the Barbara Streisand and Barry Gibb album Guilty. To this day both of them are able to recite the lyrics to 'Woman in Love.' It is only fair that Unit will be subjected to Ulver and At the Gates.

Q: Will Polly be cataloging all of Unit's reading material online at Library Thing?
A: But of course! If there's one thing Polly likes more than a book, it's an online database of books. Rest assured you will be able to find out how many other people also own Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus.

4 comments:

Cindy said...

Statement: Unit's parents both love to travel.
Question: Will Unit's parents encourage Unit to love traveling as well? Specifically to exotic places like Chicago and Vermont?

Anonymous said...

Question for Chris: Are you doing any prenatal musical conditioning for Unit involving multiple-ummlaut metal bands?

Question for Polly: Will you set up a LibraryThing account for Unit so that Unit's parents' friends can find out what books Unit already has?

-Eve

Anonymous said...

Maybe I got these FAQs when I was pregnant because I am fat?

Q. Is it twins?
A. No.

Q. Are you sure it's not twins?!
A. Yes. I have seen two ultrasounds, and each of them only showed one heartbeat. If there were two heartbeats, then I'd think I was having twins (or a Timelord).

Q. A friend of mine only saw one heartbeat on the ultrasound, and she had twins!
A. I don't think it's twins.

(I had a list of FAQs that I posted on my cube at work, to stop with the questions... but everyone still had a twins story.)

Anonymous said...

Hilarious!!