Clean as a Weasel

You know how kids will sometimes say something wrong but it's so cute and funny that you are like "Please don't ever learn the proper way to say that?" Brixton has a book he often asks for at bedtime that involves dogs cleaning up the kitchen until it was "clean as a whistle." But for some reason in his head he decided that what they do is make it "clean as a weasel."  So now Chris and I say that all the time, as a kind of short hand for that state of sort-of-clean-as-much-as-can-be-expected-given-small-children-live-here.

Which is to say we have a certain idea of adequate abatement of squalor that we strive towards, fighting the tide of school projects and glitter and half-eaten crackers and tiny sharp Lego pieces and sticker-covered crumpled treasures and jam. 

It's funny because even given all that, I think my standards are higher than they were before I had kids. Cause when I was in my 20s, I was a total slob. I was the roommate who left my dishes in the sink for days, and my stuff all over the floor of the common room and barely did my chore. I was the roommate who people secretly simmered at while I lay around reading and not noticing the mess. I really just didn't see it and didn't really see the point of noticing or caring about it.

This is part of why I never lived with a romantic partner until I was five months pregnant. I knew the kinds of fights and discussions I had with my roommates and I wanted to keep that away from the lovey-dovey stuff. Not that I didn't get along with my roommates, some of my greatest friendships grew out of roommate situations, despite our differences. 

It all changed when I moved in with Chris, who is the kind of person that values order and routine. And in that way that you do things for your partner that you don't care much about yourself (like watch their movies and listen to their music and go to their events and etc etc etc), I started doing things like making the bed. I still wasn't the cleanest person on the block by any means, but I knew it made a difference to him and it took just a few minutes, so a new habit was formed. 

Things stayed in this step-up-from slovenly state until I left my part-time job to be a stay-at home mom. At that point, I figured I had more time than Chris to devote to homekeeping stuff* and that it was part of my new job description, so I started doing my regular cleaning. I found myself feeling satisfied when things looked nice, a sense of accomplishment. Before too long I was the one feeling frustrated if there were toys all over the place or crusty stuff dried on the table, which I'm sure would amaze my former roommates. But change comes to all of us, especially as our circumstances mold us. Even messy defiant punk girls can learn to pick up a little. 

Now, if you come over you will still see toys all over the place. There will be crumbs and knitting and books on the tables and dust on the picture frames. But an effort is being made. And I find myself enjoying things like reorganizing my kitchen to make it more user-friends. 

Before:

                                                                After:

*Homekeeping stuff. I am aware of the gendered nature of my current arrangement and how, in some ways, my life is more of a gender stereotype than it used to be. Chris and I have had some good discussions about this, and how it's both so much bigger than us and so personal at the same time. We have discussions about why there aren't more women in engineering fields, and why our society pays some professions so much more than those in the "helping" professions and the cost of childcare and  different expectations for parents based on gender and all that. Plus,when he is home he is a rock star with both the kids and the chores so it does feel like we have a good balance going for us, for now. Which is all we can ask for. 

a little rut

These pictures have nothing to do with anything. I just liked them.

                                    
                                Lately I've been in a little bit of a rut. I feel like I'm running out of ideas.

                               I got some new cookbooks out from the library and that's been helpful,
                               at least on the food front.

                               But sometimes 3:30 rolls around and I just.don't.know. what to do.
                               Usually Brixton and I have morning activies- either music class or a playdate
                               or errands that keep us busy. But afternoons are another story. He's such an
                               inconsistant napper. Basically the only way he'll fall asleep is in the car with
                               the classical station on. So sometimes I make up an errand jus to get an afternoon
                              car ride, and even then he doesn't always sleep. I'd give it up entirely but he's
                              just cranky and obviously still needs it.

                              My sewing goals have not been happening at all. My excuse is that the only
                              consistent free time I have is at the end of the day and I'm usually too zonkered for
                              anything but my BBC dramas. Hopefully I'll get it together soon.

                                

Unity's summer break from school is coming up and I'm trying to plan lots of fun activies for us.

(It's only a week long. Her school goes year-round.)

So I'm open to suggestions for any games, activities, outings, crafts that will keep a five year old and a two year old and their mama busy. In the probable drizzle that is a Seattle Junuary. Let me know if you think of anything!

I debated posting this cause I don't want to seem like a downer. I love staying home with my kids and also it's hard, like all jobs. I think my blogging philosophy is somewhere in between this and this.

Crossing Over

 For me there are two New Years, kind of how Chris and I celebrate two anniversaries. Two kinds of fresh starts and passages. I still measure my years in school time that ends in August and starts over in September. This is the mark of aging and completion, of new pens and blank notebooks waiting for new ideas and doodles and letters. And then there's the calendar year that ends in the flurry of holidays and celebrations and starts in the gray incubating days of true winter. If small green changes are sprouting, it's under that bare quiet ground.

Some times it seems that I make the same resolutions every year to little avail but when I look back on it, I've been able to accomplish a lot of them since I've been home with the kids full time. I know it's not for everyone but for me it's really been a blessing. I cook 70-80% of the meals in our house now, I exercise at least once a week, I quit the commitments that felt draining and put my energy towards stuff that feels nourishing. I do fun creative projects with the kids, socialize with friends, have occasional date nights with Chris, worship with a great Meeting. The house is pretty clean most of the time, and we make donations to organizations we believe in. Staying home has been really good for getting organized and following through, making our home a better place for all of us. I loved my work at Real Change and sometimes I miss it, but I really love this.

So with that in mind, here are some 2012 resolutions.

1. Make writing a priority.
One of the things I've learned is that scheduling really helps me. My weekly meal plans help me grocery shop so we don't waste food and don't worry about what's for dinner every night. I want to take an honest look at my daily routines and see how I can make writing a regular commitment, not just for a month but for long term.

2. Get my drivers license. (yes, I don't have one. It's a long story.)
I'm really close, have my drive test scheduled so we'll see. I don't plan on driving a lot but there are a few times and places that it will really make a difference.

3. Explore my peace testimony.
Maybe this means taking some alternatives to violence classes or listening to speakers from peace making teams. I don't know for sure but it's something I want to give some intention to.

4. add weights to my workouts.
I keep reading about calcium and bone structure and being 30 something, and I was vegan for 4 years
so this is something I should really work on.

5. Update our emergency supplies.
We have our 3 days kit and First Aid kit but I need to get the water supplies ( 1 gallon per person per day) and maybe update some of the other stuff.

6. a regular technology Sabbath.
ahhhhh. combined with a walk in the woods- even better.

7. Keep a book journal.
I want an accurate list of all the books I read for the year, with maybe a sentence or two review. Seems do-able right?

Happy 2012! I hope it's off to a lovely start.